Live Thread: Cavs vs. Pistons
2015-04-13
Will Cavs fire on all cylinders against the Pistons? More importantly, will anyone care?
The Cavs come into this critical contest, having dropped their last two and hoping to avoid their longest losing streak since January against the feisty Pistons… oh wait, it’s not the playoffs yet? <stifled yawn>
Okay, let’s start again… The Cavs, after a weekend holiday against the Celtics where they generously rested their starters to make sure Boston would be their first round opponent to get them ready for the playoffs, will be back to full strength tonight against a Detroit team coming off one of their biggest wins in what was once a promising campaign. Welcome to the penultimate wind-down game to the 2014-15 season.
Since this game means very little to either team (other than pride), it could devolve into yet another hard to watch affair. So here’s a game to make things light (if you’re interested). In the spirit of the “Haikus For The Win” thread from the Cavs’ blowout of the Celtics on March 3rd, tonight’s challenge is to break out your best similes and metaphors for game highlights.
Like:
Mozilla just devoured that Reggie Jackson drive like it was a small European village (simile).
or…Â Angry Smurf is his own slow motion replay (metaphor).
If you get confused… here’s a simple chart to follow:
I’ll incorporate the best ones from the live thread into the recap (unless there are none because you’re either not interested in watching until the playoffs, or think this is a stupid idea — in which case I’ll do my best to improvise).
Compare away…
Bench giving up lead like clockwork…
Shump treating the rim like it’s Dikembe Motombo…
Wow Shump has a few of those missed open dunks lately!!!
Shump with another putback, like deja vu.
SHUMP with a putback like he was shot out of a cannon! But offensive interference negates it like it never happened…
LBJ gets a standing O like he’s the MVP…
Perk rolls to the hoop like a barrel going downhill!
Angry Smurf hit that ball like it was Jo Noah’s head…
Fred: Let’s see whose protecting the paint brought to you by Paul Blart 2!!!
Seeing Paul Blart 2 is like failing the Darwin test…
The only way I watch Paul Blart 1 or 2 is if Chris Farley raises from the dead and takes over the roll.
Was Paul Blart 1 any good?
So is it the Pistons who are resting their starters tonight?
JR SWISH is hotter than the surface of the Sun…
After that last one, even TT was like, ‘Man, this is ridiculous.’
He’s hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch…
Drummond swatting Delly’s shots like it’s personal…
Angry smurf passes like he’s trying to take gargamel’s head off.
Angry Smurf threw that pass like a frisbee…
Perkins competing with Haywood for worst pass of the year.
JR is making it rain on the court…
Drummond tackled Moz like a Brown…
Wow these crappy refs love Drummond and hate Moz.
LBJ about to get his second triple double like an MVP…
James Harden playing in a meaningless game against the Hornets to try and win the scoring title is like Justin Morneau sitting out the last two games of last year to win the NL batting title…
Refs checking for clear path fouls is like waiting in line at the DMV…
JR SWISH is like ready for the playoffs…
That block by Drummond on the Delly layup was like a goaltend…
I’m not even watching the game but I can tell from the comments that the Cavs are playing like that guy who didn’t pay his taxes on the first season of survivor
Well done TOJ… that reference was like a deep three in the Q…
who do we root for— THE BULLS OR THE NETS OR DOES IT REALLY MATTER ?
The Bulls are like that cockroach you find in your kitchen… you’d love nothing more than to squash them, but they’re just so ugly to look at…
I’m really hoping the Pacers sneak in at the 8 seed so they can tussle with the Hawks like how those dragons in game of thrones eat that one guys sheep.
Winking Lizard beers are like full of alcohol. I may not get this metaphor/simile thing.
The Winking Lizard is like heaven on earth for Nate…
got my ” chow mein ” / ” sushi ” and plum wine ordered for the last qtr
NOMAD is living like a king…
LBJ is a machine with “chill mode” deactivated.
He’s like an angry octopus with his hands on every ball…
cavs are like a sports car ” just idling along ” and then they SHIFT IT INTO HIGH GEAR –WOW —how much longer do we play the regulars ?
Probably at least one more quarter since the bench usually plays like Chinese Basketball League dropouts…
JR is hotter than two rats fighting in a wool sock!
Drummond just threw Kyrie into the pylon like a rag doll…
Cavs have gone colder than a brass toilet seat…
Cavs have stopped playing like a scratched dvd…
KLove treated that ball like it was a hot potato…
Shump shot that at like the wrong side of the backboard…
TT’s hook shot is as unstoppable as Kareem’s tonight…
TT is like really strong…
This game is like, really over.
John Lucas III sighting!
I thought he was just driftwood.
John Lucas III is the poster child for nepotism… oh wait, that’s Austin Rivers…
Delly looks like a competent back-up point guard when LBJ is playing…
The Cavs are dismantling the Pistons like a bomb in The Hurt Locker…
As bad as we beat up the pistons that quarter, we were beat worse in the 2nd quarter last night.
The Heat are sinking like the sun into the ocean…
I like to think of them sinking more like a dense turd, slowly circling the bowl before disappearing into the sewer that is the lottery.
That works too!
If Miami loses tonight or Brooklyn wins then the Heat are officially out of the playoffs.
I can’t wait for the playoffs!
This is just pure domination!
JAMES FREAKING JONES is the bomb!
Jackson fell like he was shot by Oswald.
The talent gap between our starters and our bench is as wide as the grand canyon.
It is legitimately one of the worst benches in the league. Can’t wait to see what Griffin does with it this offseason.
Reggie Jackson just fell down like a blind roofer…
KLove is the best defensive version of himself right now…
Drummond has pogo-sticks for legs…
J.R. shoots like there is a four-point line
This is almost unfair… like a pit bull playing with a chew toy…
Blatt is a muppet.
Kyrie hitting threes like sniper…
We’re on pace for 48 offensive rebounds, by the way.
Pistons playing like they ruined their playoff chances with injuries and stupid trades
Moz cleaning the glass like window washer before a storm…
Kevin Love defended on that play like someone who is good at defense.
Serious question: would you rather have Drummond or Mozgov?
Drummond will be a dope forever. Mozzy swats balls like effigy sandwiches.
Moz because Drummond will need to get the max pretty soon like a premier big man…
They both are bricking free throws like it’s a contest…
Cavs playing like this is the first game of the playoffs…
Also, I can’t really pay attention to much because I’ve got more work to do than the Browns re-branding two-year task force for uniform and logo revitalization.
Drummond has a second job as a bricklayer…
Take us home EeeGee
This is, like, fun.
See what I did there?
Hahaha, clever.
LBJ with a steal and behind the back to Moz like he had eyes in the back of his head…
Kyrie is MAGIC
Cavs sloppier than a toddler eating barbeque to start off…
JR SWISH like a hot knife through butter…
SVG has his game face on like the Hedgehog at the 1985 AVNs…