Thanksgiving Samples

Thanksgiving is a little more than two weeks away, but if you work in the grocery industry it’s already on your mind. Customers pre-order turkeys and pick sides in the coming days. They will test workers’ will to live as they ask a ton of questions and try to prepare for the big day. Here’s my experience so far.

Over the weekend, the grocery store where I work as a chef sampled their holiday offerings. I made most of the food, and I chuckled as people struggled to move around with their carts while carrying a tiny paper plate full of turkey, stuffing, gravy, green bean casserole, and cranberry sauce. “That’s what they get for trying to fill their stomachs for free, damn serial samplers,” I thought to myself.

Halfway through the event, as I waited for a pot of gravy to thicken, I overheard some comments about the cranberry sauce and green bean casserole. “This sauce is so sweet. It’s makes the Turkey like a dessert.” “I wish I could just eat the topping on the casserole.” (it was topped with fried french onions) “Do they employ Bobby Flay here?”

No one commented on the turkey, gravy, or stuffing (which had chestnuts in it), because this is the real world. Nobody comes to a Thanksgiving dinner expecting the turkey to be anything less than perfect. They need the stuffing to be on point, and the gravy must tie everything together. Those staples are a known value. People will say, “Generic comment A or B about” about them. That’s all the praise you’re getting on those items.

As usual, my mind wandered while hearing people judge my work. I thought about what small talk I would make if put on the spot, and immediately thought about basketball. I would tell people that this early in the NBA season is really a just a prolonged sampling event, much like the one they’re attending. The real NBA feast is post All-Star break, when teams either jockey for a higher playoff seed or start to tank for more ping-pong balls in the lottery.

I’d also point out a festive analogy of how I think each Cavalier represents a part of a Thanksgiving food spread. LeBron James, of course, is the turkey. Kevin Love, the stuffing. And, Kyrie Irving, upon return from injury, the gravy. Every NBA fan knows these guys are high-level performers and get mad when they aren’t.

On the other hand, Tristan Thompson and Matthew Dellavedova don’t get staple food status. TT is like a boutique style cranberry sauce, and Delly is possibly the best damn green bean casserole you will ever have. These side items are wild cards at Thanksgiving dinner. You can buy cranberry sauce in a can, or make it from scratch. You can throw together a green bean casserole using a can of mushroom soap, or make a creamy mushroom sauce with caramelized onions and blow peoples’ minds.

The side dishes for the Cavs have decided to be fancy for now. They may not be what people come to a Cavs game expecting to see on their plates, but they are often something that they will remember from their experience. Side dishes can make a Thanksgiving or basketball season something to remember, and people will invariably comment on them.

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Here’s a taste of Tristan Thompson, the Cavs’ cranberry sauce.

When Thompson signed with the Cavs for a contract worth $84 million after training camp was over, I rationally thought that he would be rustier than an old can of store-bought cranberry sauce. Boy was I wrong. After a sub-par half in game one of the season against Chicago, TT came out firing on target jumpers and converting at the rim. He’s shooting 67.6% from the field and 40% from mid-range so far this season.

But, more importantly, Canadian Dynamite has been playing as if he only receives his $14 million this year by grabbing rebounds. Rebounds, which are each worth about $15,000 (at $15k a board I could probably get at least one rebound in a real game — maybe even two). If he keeps that price estimate in mind, he’ll grab around 900 boards this season, a number he could easily reach considering he’s averaging 10.3 a game right now.

Tristan is also coming off the bench, and he still ranks 12th overall for rebounds. His rebounds per 48 number is 20.4. That’s fifth in the league, according to ESPN.

The craziest thing about TT’s rebounding, though, is that it’s extremely timely. He’s getting 4.4 boards a game in the fourth quarter, which is good for second in the league. Canadian Dynamite is also number two in defensive rebounding in the final 12 minutes, and in the top five for offensive rebounding.

As cliche as this sounds, if you want to beat the Cavs, you need to make your shots. Tristan is grabbing 23.7% of all available boards. There are no second chances when playing the King’s Men.

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A dollop of Delly casserole goes with most things basketball. The dictionary defines dollop as “a shapeless mass or blob of something, especially soft food.” Delly is shapeless in the sense that he can fill any requirement needed on a basketball court. That’s especially evident this season.

After the month of October, I knew something special was going on with the Australian. He was ranked fourth in plus-minus averaging +17.7 over three games! Former Cavalier Dion Waiters was number two on the list averaging +19.5 over two games (he has since fallen off).

Naturally, that Delly plus-minus number is suspect. Three games is a smaller sample size than the ones we were handing out this weekend at the grocery store. However, after seven games, SuperDova is still making magic on the court. He’s currently 12th in the league rocking an average plus-minus of +10.3. Although this number is behind LeBron James and Kevin Love’s top ten numbers, it is still impressive for a second round draft pick making $1.1 million this season.

Look at these two stat lines. One is Delly’s. The other is a player’s on a contender making $15 million a season. Which one is which? Who is the non-Delly player?

The reason I picked this other player is because he appears right next to Delly in the plus-minus rankings as of Sunday. The top line is Dellavedova, and the bottom line is actually Klay Thompson. I know it might seem semi-crazy to compare these two guys, but is it really? Delly should be talked about in a much more respectful way outside of Cleveland. Non-Cavs fans say, “Oh, Delly’s stats are inflated because he plays with LeBron and Love.” But, ask yourself, “Why are Klay’s stats what they are?” Answer: He’s playing next to Stephen Curry.

Delly is actually hitting threes at a higher rate than Thompson (38.9% for Delly, 36.1% for Klay), rebounding a little, and tossing out more assists. He adds 13.9 points a game with his 6.1 dimes. Thus, he is contributing 21.9 points a night to the Cavs’ bottom line.

Klay adds 6.4 points a game with his 2.7 assists per outing. That brings his total points to 21.4. Defensively, both of these players are above average. Delly’s defensive rating is 91, while Klay’s is 87.7. And, they are also playing next to score first point guards, Mo Williams and Stephen Curry, respectively. If you really want to get detailed about their defensive skills, you can look at their overall effect on how opponents shoot when covered by each of them. Surprisingly, players are shooting 4.9% lower than their average field goal percentage when locked down by Delly (19.4% lower for 3-pointers). People covered by Klay actually shoot 2.3% better.

Delly has this meme for when he drains a 3-pointer. It’s a “Delly Trey.” Klay’s name rhymes with “tray,” and he doesn’t even has this type of meme.

Delly’s assist percentage also should be mentioned. He is assisting on 30% of shots when playing, for 6.1 dimes a night. He is certainly part of the reason the Cavs have the third most assists in the league with 26.1 a game. Furthermore, he’s protecting the ball. He has just one turnover every 3.91 dimes, which is in the top ten for guards. And, these assists are even more meaningful since he’s not just hooking guys up during garbage time.

The Cavs have used a variety of 5-man groups, but their third most used group is Mo Williams, Matthew Dellavedova, Kevin Love, LeBron James, and Tristan Thompson. This is who closes games. This group has played 25 minutes together, and outscored opponents by 73.6 points for the year, an average of 14.72 points each of the five games they have played. Furthermore, this group has a NetRtg of 70.9 (NetRtg is OffRtg-DefRtg). That’s number one in the league out of all lineups with at least 20 minutes of play (going into the slate of Monday night games). The second highest right now is Golden State’s small ball closing unit with a NetRtg of 54.5 (they’ve played 34 minutes thus far).

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In case you’re wondering how exactly a taste of Tristan combines with a dollop of Delly on a plate… it looks something like this:

https://vine.co/v/elZ6e3JHhwn

These two side dishes have complemented each other 13 times this year. Eleven of those times were for plays at the basket and a whole crop of Vines. The other two were mid-range jumpers. Mixing cranberry sauce and green bean casserole has always worked well off the basketball court, especially when both are of the highest quality. It’s really no surprise that this combination is working so well on the court. So far they’ve earned some rave reviews, for which Cavs fans should give many thanks. The main event may be far off, but the sampling this season has left me wanting more with each little plate.

The stats for this piece are accurate as of Monday morning, November 9th. They were obtained from NBA.com unless noted otherwise.