Recap: Suns 122, Cavs 113 (or, Tank-mageddon)
2019-04-02What do you get when you mix two teams battling for Lottery position, a complete dereliction of defense, a bunch of young guns with itchy trigger fingers and two coaching staffs with strict orders to make their tanks fully operational? Yep… it’s Tank-mageddon.
There were enough wide open threes, blown layups, weird fouls, bizarre in-bounds plays, wildly skewed shooting stats and banana-in-the-tailpipe four point plays galore… that one could only assume could take place on April Fools Day… which I will hereafter nominate as the official annual celebration of Tank-mageddon (or Tank-a-palooza if you prefer).
Chances are good that if you live in the Eastern Time Zone, you probably missed this one… whether by accident or choice. To be honest, it’s tough enough to watch the Tank-pocalypse unfold within normal viewing hours… so a 10pm tip off is considerably less appealing. Fortunately (or maybe not in this case), I reside on the West Coast… so I got a virtual ringside seat for the Tank-stravaganza. I say virtual, because the one saving grace for me was that the game was broadcast (for some unknown reason) as the 4K NBA game of the week on DirecTV. As a result, I was spared the April Fools joke of a coverage experience on NBATV.
All that to say, if you missed this tank-atastrophe… you didn’t miss much. It was a wholly forgettable game for the Cavaliers, outside of maybe Channing Frye’s swan song in his hometown. Let’s get to it…
The first quarter kicked off with two straight buckets from Devin “I’ll mess around and drop 50 on you” Booker, which didn’t seem to bode well for the Cavs. Ironically, they’d shut him out for the rest of the half. Yet, dudes like Elie “YOLO rhymes with” Okobo and Troy Daniels were making step-back 26 footers like they were in the gym alone (they might as well have been for all the resistance the Cavs D mustered). On top of that, rookie Mikal “I was a Sixer for six minutes” Bridges pulled off not one… but TWO banana-in-the-tailpipe four point plays… in the SAME QUARTER!
The second one capped an 11-0 run to end the period… which had followed a nice 11-0 run by the Cavs courtesy of Jordan “I can shoot my way into or out of anything” Clarkson and Ante “God’s own widow’s peak” Zizic. This attack and retreat theme seemed to be Larry Drew’s tank strategy for the evening. Let the Suns build a sizable lead… then cut just deeply enough into it to throw off the all-seeing, anti-tanking eye of Adam Silver. Cavs trailed 31-23.
Things got a lot worse for the Cavs in the second quarter, as they fell down by as much as 22 at one point. For whatever reason, they decided to employ their lackadaisical, tank-tacular “defense” to turn Jimmer “You can’t send me back to China… I won’t go” Fredette and Josh “This is the greatest game of my life” Jackson into instant heroes for the Phoenix faithful willing to pay for this Tank-mageddon. The Jimmer scored six points in six minutes… while Jackson fired in nine of his 19 points on the night in the first five minutes of the frame. The Cavs were able to claw back a little on Cedi Osman’s only made bucket of the game (it was as brutal as that sounds) with an and one to cut it to 14…
Feisty Cedi.#BeTheFight pic.twitter.com/yS5bsnlE8U
— Cleveland Cavaliers (@cavs) April 2, 2019
But then Booker and Jamal “I can’t believe no playoff team couldn’t have used my shooting ability” Crawford started bombing away, while Dragan “Watch me start my own layup line” Bender even got into the act… inexplicably turning Cavalier big men into glorified traffic cones. At this point, this game seemed destined to devolve into the tank-iest, tank-riffic, tank-onimically correct tank-a-thon of the whole tank-nificent tanking season. Cavs trailed 71-52 at the half.
I’d love to say that the Cavs turned things around in the third quarter because they were somehow inspired by anything Mike “We’ve got them right where we want them… behind the three point arc” Longabardi had to impart… but the more likely explanation for what happened was that the Suns got a stern talking to about the value of holding onto the second best Lottery odds. Sure, the Cavs did pay a bit more attention on defense, but the Suns also took a slew of quick-trigger, ill-advised heaves. Cleveland also got some improved shooting from Brandon Knight and Collin Sexton, on both a series of floaters in the lane and long distance threes. They also relied heavily on the always teetering on disaster plan of Tristan Thompson ISO post moves… like this one…
🌀 TTOP 🌀#CavsSuns on @FOXSportsOH pic.twitter.com/tqSFjg9YYI
— Cleveland Cavaliers (@cavs) April 2, 2019
They also got a couple of dunks and tip shots from Zizic (which earned a couple of ZZ Top fuzzy guitar spinning memes) to help close the gap down to seven. Suns led 91-84 after three quarters.
You might think the highlight of the final quarter was the fact that the Cavs were able to cut the lead back to six with just three and a half minutes remaining on the strength of a second straight trey from Nik “I am Sauce Castillo… see me splash” Stauskas… especially after Jamal “Seriously… am I just going to end my career in Phoenix?” Crawford and Josh “I can’t wait to get a Max deal from the Lakers in free agency once Magic sees the tape of this game” Jackson helped push it out to 15. But, since Devin “I will out-Golden-Turd James Harden the next time I play him” took over and put the tank battle out of reach… the clear winner was this final three point sayonara from Channing Frye…
Doing some late night banking in Phoenix, eh @Channing_Frye?#CavsSuns pic.twitter.com/YOFhrhsxga
— Cleveland Cavaliers (@cavs) April 2, 2019
Channing didn’t call bank… he didn’t call game… he just called it a career (well in Phoenix anyway)… and will do so in Cleveland next Tuesday when the Cavs host the Hornets in the last home game of the season. Cavs lose the Tank-mageddon (or did they really win?) 122-113.
The Evil
The Cavs really did just about the minimum defensively. They allowed the Suns to shoot 55% from the field (it was close to 60% for most of the game) and 35% from deep (which was closer to 50% until the fourth quarter). I get they’re tanking, but outside of a decent stretch in the third, the lack of resistance was pretty embarrassing.
This might have been one of the most forgettable games for Cedi Osman. He was a rim-wrecking 1-12 (0-6 from downtown) with zero rebounds, three assists and one steal. He also fouled out in just 33 minutes.
Sure Collin Sexton led the team with 21 points… but it took him 23 shots to do it. A relatively inefficient shooting night for the rookie led to just 9-23 from the field, 1-4 from deep, though he did have four boards and three assists.
Brandon Knight continues to show flashes of his old self… but he’s still about two steps slow defensively. He scored 10 points on 4-8 shooting (2-4 from beyond the arc), but got burned by the Phoenix guards all night. Knight was a whopping -31 in his 25 minutes on the floor, and wound up with five fouls as he had to reach too much to catch guys as they blew by him.
Tristan Thompson and Ante Zizic combined to go 8-15 from the charity stripe.
Tanking might be a necessary evil… but it’s hard to watch… even in 4K.
The Genius
Larry Nance, Jr. continued to show off his all-around game, filling in for the sort of injured Kevin Love. Larry only took seven shots, but he made four of them for nine points. He was also a monster on the glass with 12 rebounds, to go with four assists and two steals. He had several questionable foul calls go against him, but he hung tough.
Jordan Clarkson was about the only other reliable scoring option outside of Sexton and the two-headed center. JC had another fairly efficient (by his standards) shooting night, going 8-16 for 20 points. He also chipped in six boards, three assists and a steal.
TT and ZZ combined to shoot 11-14 for 30 points to go with 12 rebounds. They both showed off an array of post moves… some which were more effective than others. Overall, a pretty good night at the five for the Cavs.
The Suns, in a truly classy move, put together a highlight tribute reel for native son, Channing “Let’s enjoy this wonderful french toast” Frye, to honor his last game as a pro on their floor. They aired it on the jumbotron during a first quarter break…
Congrats on a great career @Channing_Frye! pic.twitter.com/wkskLdBsQs
— Phoenix Suns (@Suns) April 2, 2019
Parting Shot
The bad news is that tanking is awful. It’s painful to look at in games like this, and awfully boring to be honest. The good news is that there are only four more games to go until the worst of the tanking is done. No matter what spot in the Lottery the Cavs wind up occupying, they should come away with another young piece of the foundation for the future. And, hopefully… the Tank-mageddon will be over for the foreseeable future.
THAT IS GOOD—-DAMN ROCKETS KEEP WINNNING / OTHER TEAMS KEEP LOSING —THAT PICK KEEPS DROPPPING —–: (
Bulls won tonight. 3 behind them now.
Woohoo! COUGH I mean, dang I guess we can’t catch them now….
Really is a shame. I hate to finish behind the Bulls. C’est la Zion!
WOW… Russ with a 20/20/20 game…. crazy.
That has to be a first in nba history.
2nd…but yeah that’s insane
Guess Wilt was the other guy. Would have figured it would have been a guy like Oscar, Kidd, or Magic. Realize he led the league in assists one year, but if I remember it was something like 7.5 per game or something. Still with the absurd amount of attention he drew I guess it isn’t that surprising.
Think of any nutty stat ever, good chance Wilt did it.
He has career averages of 30/20. No one else has ever done it for a single season. And only one player (qualified) has ever done it for a single playoff run (Dr. J in his ABA days). 100 pt game. Playing every second of every game for a whole year. Leading the league in points, rebounds, and assists over his career. Freak athlete. Could high jump 6’6″ plus pre-Fosberry flop & landing on dirt (Big 12 champ). Also lettered in triple-jump and shot put at Kansas. Some computer geeks claim he had the biggest vertical in NBA history (49″). They… Read more »
All true. For Wilt, though, I will say Simmons had him down pretty good in his Basketball book. He looked for records…if there was some feat that sounded impressive, he’d do it. He was like RWB chasing a triple double times 100.
To some degree. He also won two titles, got to six finals, and made the conference finals or better 12 out of 14 years.
If not for Russell’s Celtics, no telling how many titles he wins.
Also, starting with the 76ers, he agreed to take a lesser role in the offense and defend and distribute more. That is when the assist totals went up, both titles were won, and all but one MVP & Finals appearance. Wilt was NOT MVP the 50/25 year.
Yeah I have seen those stats. I could believe the vertical in his younger years, but maybe not when he bulked up.
Yeah, there’s no way he had that kind of vertical as a true big man. When he entered the league he was a twig.
For posterity:
Randle at his only year at UK: 15ppg, 10.4rpg, 50.1% FG, 1.4apg, 16.7% 3pt FG, 24.5 PER, 4.2 OBPM, 3.0 DBPM
Zion at his only year at Duke: 22.6ppg, 8.9rpg, 68% FG, 2.1apg, 33.8% 3pt FG, 40.8 PER, 12.8 OBPM, 7.2 DBPM
And Zion faced better competition (Randle SOS 9.89, Zion SOS 11.99)…. I’ve seen them both play in college…. Zion’s finishing ability and defense >>>>>>>>>> Randle’s and Zion is the better passer.
Forgot to add,
Randle stocks: 1.3 per game
Zion stocks: 3.9 per game
I don’t see those two as comps at all. Zion is far more dynamic and just a force of nature with the ball. Randle was just a big body who could bully ball in the paint. There is no way, barring injury, that I see Zion not being a really good NBA player, could be a lot better than that.
(i.e., I agree with CLF, if that is not clear)
All good… took your comment the way you meant it.
Totally agree… Zion’s a far better scorer and finisher than Randle and makes game changing defensive plays. I like Randle, he’s a fringe All-Star in his prime.
But as EG said, a far better comparison is Blake Griffin…. a 6x All-Star, 3x All-NBA 2nd team…. and I like Zion’s mentality a lot better than Griffin’s.
And I think Zion has a chance to exceed Griffin in terms of impact… Zion can be the best player on a championship team.
Agree with all of that, but I really see Zion as way more agile than Blake. They both look like football players out there, but Zion just seems so light on his feet. I’m betting he’s going to be significantly better than Blake, assuming he’s not placed in some terrible team situation. (the Suns seem like a terrible team situation as they are currently composed)
You have to consider that Griffin’s microfractured knee is a big factor in his decline in athleticism…. I’ve heard very scary things about that surgery’s long term impact on professional athletes… basically, an athlete’s got 10 good years and that knee’s done.
Griffin’s numbers coming out of college most closely resemble Zion’s and I believe that was pre-microfracture. Griffin was absolutely dynamic coming out college… but knee troubles and I think his attitude (fighting with coaching/training staff) colors how some people see him.
Sorry all. I need to stop talking about Zion. Though I think as much for my own sanity by not getting unrealistic hopes about getting the number one pick again. It is just so unlikely to happen. I am going to have to talk myself into being happy with the 4th, 5th, 6th, or 7th pick.
Enjoyed the write up! Thanks for losing a couple hours for us EG.
You have an opinion on whether Zion will be the world changer he is billed as at the moment? I kind of dont see it. I dont think he will be a bust. But I feel like he is just a slightly better Julius Randle
I have this weird feeling he’s going to be a slightly better shooting Blake Griffin… so probably a perennial All Star, but not sure if he becomes a transcendent figure…
My friend who is a Zion fan made the same comp, it’s a great one IMO. I think Zion is noticeably better on defense than Griffin. I think Griffin with a slightly higher ceiling… Griffin got robbed of a lot of precious time because of injury, hopefully Zion doesn’t meet the same fate.
Advanced stats and counting stats (points, FG%, stocks) makes the Randle comparison an insult IMO lol.
lol i get that it’s an insult based on the hype train…but Stats wise, btw, his #s are almost identical to Randle’s this season, just with a much higher fg%. Which, I didn’t look that up until now and it’s a bit remarkable. He’s not going to have BETTER #s in the NBA than against college competition. And he shoots quite poorly from the free throw line.
That said…I still hope we draft him. That set shot concerns me a bit
I think he will be tremendous if he stays healthy. On a team with three legit shooters in a lineup and the NBA three line, he will have exponentially more space to operate than at Duke. His key will be his shooting and his right hand. He gets a decent three point shot and works on finishing with his right (he can, just not as well), and tightening up/making better decisions with his dribble, he will be basically unguardable in iso and given space. Matchup nightmare for everyone on the wing. Too big for any wing with one of the… Read more »
I also think he is still raw. Lots of room to grow and the hand eye coordination and touch to make big strides. Defensively he needs to get more disinclined, and have better awareness off ball. But he will be an impact rookie coming in.
Also on the set shot, I am not as concerned. If you are that far up on him or closing that fast he is gone. Nobody is going to be able to stay with him or bump him off his lane without giving him a ton of space. Also i have seen him pullup going left from about 15. Don’t expect that from three anytime soon, but he won’t need to if the team he goes to has three to four shooters in a lineup with him. If he was just an athlete nobody would be excited about him. He… Read more »
Why are you comparing apples to oranges? Go look at Randle’s college stats… not even close in the aforementioned categories.
I wonder if Zion will actually shoot the 3 better in the NBA because he’ll be forced to use his legs more because of the distance. He shoots it really flat because he so strong, I think he’s afraid of overshooting it by dipping more. Obviously his elbow is way out of alignment and his follow through has a strange path if you look at his index finger. He seems committed to being great so I think he’ll get there.
Yeah the elbow is something I have noticed. He has touch clearly. But his mechanics can be tightened up, though it isn’t necessarily a whole shot rebuild.
Lol, great recap. Glad you at least had some fun writing up a horrible game. Really wanted this one last night. Still would have been behind the bulls a game. I always wonder what the coaches tell players in these type of games. I mean do they actually lay it out and say we want to lose this game in one form or another? I can’t imagine the players actually want to lose no matter what anyone tells them. Obviously coaches get the straight answer from the FO as far as lose this game or that game, but it would… Read more »
FORGOT TO GIVE A “GREAT JOB ” TO COACH LONGINBARF -(DEFENSE )–FOR “HOLDING ” BOOKER UNDER 50 PTS ——THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO EXTEND HIS CONTRACT / BRING HIM BACK NEXT YEAR : )
Beer just came out my nose, thanks NOMAD.
Sauce is not a keeper, but we could keep him anyway.
EG, thanks for watching. Our last home game is Charlotte, not the Spurs.
Sorry, vision was a little blurry at 3 am…
IS “SAUCE ” A KEEPER —–OR CAN WE DO BETTER IN THE DRAFT / FREE AGENCY—–GUESS ALOT DEPENDS ON CONTRACT (S) –WHO IS AVAILABLE
GREAT RECAP—AND AND EVEN BETTER JOB OF ALMOST DOING A “SOLO ” LAST NIGHT —-THE “BAILEYS ” IN MY COFFEEE HIT ME RATHER QUICKLY AND THE GAME– (OR LACK OF )–EVEN QUICKER = ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ————ANTE WITH WHAT 15 PTS IN 14 MIN’S/ HIS MOST MIN’S IN QUITE A FEW GAMES / I GET IT PART OF THE ” TANK-ZION-THON “————-GLAD TO SEE THEM HONOR FRYE AND GETTING HIM SOME MIN’S—-HE SHOULD GET GOOD MIN’S THE REST OF THE SEASON ——-THANK YOU EVIL FOR BEING THE “CTB SACRIFICE ” LAST NIGHT : )
For the lottery odds, it’s lucky this game wasn’t played on a Tuesday.
Thanks for the write-up, Evil “I could write Shakespeare-level prose way faster than those monkeys and in less time” Genius. Good chuckles.
Glad to have this to read at 6am – thanks! The thing about tanking is it won’t end after one season. Add Zion to this team and we’re still lottery bound. Look at every other team in tankapalooza and they’re all perennial tank-stars.
Eh, Cavs situation is a bit different. Most tanking teams don’t have an All Star signed to a long term deal. With a healthy Love, improving core and a top 3 pick, I think the Cavs probably try to get back into the 6-8 playoff seed race. The bottom of the East is still pretty weak. Maybe not the advisable thing to do, but unless they trade away Love and TT, I think they’re too good to go full tank mode to be honest…
Problem is it makes sense to keep tanking next year. Next year’s pick goes to Atlanta unless it’s top ten again, same as this year. We have a bunch of contracts that are trade bait for picks and or crappy contracts for the 2020 offseason: Knight, Clarkson, Dellavedova, J.R. (if not already traded), Henson, and TT. That’s 83 Million in expiring contracts, and none of those guys are foundational pieces, even if we keep a few. This team is built to lose next year, trade everything it can for picks or young players, and then have cap room to supplement… Read more »
See… but that’s where you and the Cavs FO likely deviate… I doubt they trade Love since they still won’t get anywhere close to what he’s worth… Might as well wait until at least the deadline next season to see if there’s a desperate team (cough cough Lakers) that will overpay to have the skills Love brings to the table. Also, I think the NBA will purposely make sure that this new draft structure really does penalize the obvious tanking teams this year (the old frozen envelope trick) and we’ll never again see the likes of what say Hinkie pulled…… Read more »
In addition, there’s a big difference between the teams tanking at the bottom of the lottery and the ones that are there because they just aren’t in the playoffs at the top of the lottery. I think if you add Zion to this team, it changes too many dimensions to just assume that they won’t be any good still. We have to remember that a ton of that losing game without a healthy Love.
Thanks EG, I was dead tired so I went to bed early. Probably an important loss, since the Bulls seem intent on losing out.