Culty Catch Up: Fifth/Exes Edition

Each week there is a ton of NBA media pertaining to the Cavs and the league in general that deserves recognition. A lot of it goes unread because there just isn’t enough time to keep up with it. Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with six to eight notable reads/videos (the last two reads are up in the air just like the Cavs bench production this season) from the past seven days to get you through the weekend feeling entertained, caught up, and much smarter. I’ll throw in Dion’s Neon Man Of The week and some other features to add to the entertainment.

It’s been two weeks since I’ve given an update, and a lot has changed for the Cavs. Dion Waiters is now an ex and has been replaced with a shiny new streak shooter who likes to untie shoes named J.R. Smith and someone who will replace Anderson Varejao as the two-thirds of a season man if he stays on the team, Iman Shumpert. It’s rebounding time for the Cavs, so they aren’t with just two new people. They also picked up a hot Russian side piece named Timofey Mozgov. This breakup is one that will hopefully lead to greater things for all parties involved. This week’s catch up is going to look at some pieces that deal with exes, renewed relationships, and new flings. It’s time for me to summon my inner Maury Povich.

To lead off today, I want to send you to Tom Haberstroh’s piece about LeBron James needing rest. Haberstroh talks to a doctor about the effects of the modern NBA on players. He also poses important questions like what’s the difference health wise for an NBA player that comes out of college early as opposed to one who stays longer.

In the 2012-13 Basketball Prospectus, ESPN Insider’s Kevin Pelton found in a study between groups of high-minutes players (i.e. Bryant, Garnett and Rashard Lewis) and low-minutes players (i.e. Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce and Vince Carter) that the high-minutes group with more mileage saw their per-minute production fall faster across their career than the ones who stayed in school longer. By age 30, the high-minutes group averaged less than 80 percent of peak level, while the low-minutes group was still playing at better than 90 percent.

Though this isn’t an open-and-shut case, it isn’t a total surprise to see James’ PER dip from 29.3 last season to 25.0 this season. In the small sample, Pelton’s findings show that James’ preps-to-pros peers saw a similar sharp decline compared to those who stayed in college for at least three years.

My relationship with LeBron feels 20% less amazing this time around for sure. It will never be the same.

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J.R. Smith hates Ayn Rand. He would definitely say that if he read some of her manifestos (and not just because they’re stylistically terrible). Dan Feldman suggests that Mr. Smith is an altruistic dude. He backs it up with quotes.

“I just do it because I think it’s the right play to make instead of just dribbling the clock out and being selfish,” Smith said. “…It can be an advantage for our team. I’ve never been one to worry about my shooting percentage.”

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James Harden has a renewed relationship with defense if you like stats like defensive win shares. Coincidentally, the stats are boring much like playing defense. Shlomo Sprung has that news for Sheridan Hoops.

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Harden is also having a torrid affair with setting up the corner three ball for his teammates this year. Kirk Goldsberry has written that in a romance novel over at Grantland.

In other words, any team hell-bent on shooting more 3s¹ needs to be a team looking to create more 3s. And when it comes to generating those long-range buckets for teammates, nobody is as prolific as Harden.

The top 3-point assisters, as of January 4:

1. Harden – 113
2. Ty Lawson – 105
3. John Wall – 93
4. Rajon Rondo – 89
5. Eric Bledsoe – 86

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The Cavs have Kevin Love, and he is the new relationship they should be cultivating. However, it’s hard to do that when he struggles, and ESPN is putting out articles that say Andrew Wiggins was the correct pick at number one. Kevin Pelton’s words might haunt Cavs fans if Love doesn’t start looking like old Love.

I’m curious, Chad. When we discussed Wiggins last season, we swapped comparisons for him at the NBA level. Mine has changed. Wiggins hasn’t ended up very Luol Deng-like in the NBA. Instead, he looks like a shooting guard who punishes opponents with his strength — sort of like how Joe Johnson has made a (possibly Hall of Fame) career. Would you stick with Paul George?

Paul George and LeBron on the same team is the coupling of the decade.

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The sixth man piece this week goes to Colin McGowan who wrote about Dion Waiters for Vice Sports in the most perfect way. Every paragraph is exactly what a Dion fan thinks. Here’s one of my favorite sections:

What a marvelously depressive figure! He is sweetly delusional, too. Drafted in 2012 by the whimsical and incompetent Chris Grant, Waiters felt put-upon from the start, because of having to learn to play with Kyrie Irving-and not, crucially, the other way around. Throughout his career in Cleveland, Waiters believed he was the real star in the Cavaliers backcourt, that Irving didn’t defer to him enough, that he could excel if he were given the sort of creative freedom his teammate was afforded.

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The catch up has to go deep this week because this Cavs team is deep. I refuse to believe otherwise. Enough with the reading for now. Jerry Sloan wants to start a fling, and his nieces somehow recognized this in some weird subconscious way from examining his actions. They know ladies love firm skin.

That is what happens when people running your media department have fine art degrees and have to work for an NBA team.

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Nick Young and Jeremy Lin have a budding relationship. They bicker like any health couple. Lang Whittaker of NBA.com gathered all their of talk as reported by ESPN writer Arash Markazi.

Young on Kobe: “He has no filter. He just talks and talks and talks.” Lin: “That’s ironic.” Young: “What?” Lin: “Nothing. Keep going.”

— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) January 7, 2015

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Finally, Harry the Hawk knows what to do when you are broken up with. You hit the dating market and use Tinder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrpTPVw-umU

Or, if you are me and have an epic girlfriend who reads your writing, you would plot how to get her back and be depressed for at least a couple months.

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Earl’s Pearl of the Week

Dion Waiters isn’t on the Cavs anymore, so I can’t give him his own section. The area formally called “Dion’s Neon Man of the Week” is now this. I’m not sure what Earl Joseph Smith likes, but I’m assuming it’s questionable shots and poor on court decisions. By the way, he’s getting his own section because he is now my favorite Cavalier. Today, Earl’s Pearl, actually Pearls, are the Knicks fans that wore paper bags over their heads to attend the Rockets game at MSG. I really wish someone would have interviewed them and allowed them to state that their decision to wear paper bags was directly related to Smith being traded. That would have really made this section of the article legitimate.

Bottom Lines of the Week

Klay Thompson ripped off 40 points against the Pacers this week shooting 6-11 from deep while grabbing four rebounds and three assists. The Warriors won the game 117-102.

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About the trades:

I’m not sure how I feel about the Cavs trading Dion Waiters right now, but I want to be happy for Dion. He has officially entered his Jordan years as he rocks out in number 23, something he would never be able to do on the Cavs (LeBron already has number 23). And, I think Oklahoma is going to  be a great fit for him. He nailed a big three in his home debut playing against the Jazz, and he’s setting the tone defensively according to Scott Brooks. I’ve always stuck up for Waiters and believe he may become a defensive stopper if he can just stay focused. Any Cavs fan has witnessed angry Dion D. The Thunder now get to witness that too, lucky folks.

What’s Iman Shumpert going to be for the Cavs? Apparently, he will be the best wing defender if the talk surrounding him is legitimate. I’m not sure it is though because no one has mentioned that he played with Tyson Chandler behind him for two seasons. It’s a great luxury to be able to overplay one side and force a guy to go the other direction without the threat of him doing so because there’s a big shot blocker by the rim. I want to see how he plays once he’s fully healthy.

Fortunately for Shump, Timofey Mozgov looks like he might be able to protect the rim in the right scheme. He’s big and moves with his hands up. When in position and not pulled away trying to trap on a pick and roll, he contested shots against the Warriors. If David Blatt sets the defense up right, Timmy will be a difference maker.

J.R. Smith now has to be my favorite Cavalier. He’s a lucky man because I will now defend him to the death. He likes to shoot and is faster than Shawn Marion or Mike Miller. He’s a guy who will win a game for the team once in a while and has proven himself as a sixth man. So, yea, he gets to lead the bench guys and produce enough offense for himself and Matty D.

It saddening that the Cavs lost two protected first round picks, but I’m happy they have another center who is a real big guy. Shumpert and Smith are also two more athletic players on a team that sorely needs that type of player.

As far as salary cap goes, the team is in a bad spot no matter what, and that topic deserves a column to itself.

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The quote of the week goes to J.R. Smith. No explanation is needed.

“Worse come to worse … my motto is, ‘When in doubt, shoot the ball.'”