Random Thoughts: Dog Days

The Cavs are in a strange position with Tristan Thompson and Matthew Dellavedova. Cleveland’s playing the free agency game in a year where few other teams are being frugal with their restricted free agents. Instead, teams are throwing money around like Jolly Ranchers at a Fourth of July parade. Cavs are treating TT and Delly like it’s 2014. It’s not. It’s hard to ask those guys to lower Citizen Sans’ luxury tax bill when J.J. Barea, the star of Little People, Big World, just signed a $16 million deal.

It’s safe to assume J.R. Smith misjudged the free agent market, right? No one else wanted to touch him with a ten-foot pole. Do you think Earl the Third takes a pay cut? Do the Cavs even want him then? Trust me. No one likes a surly Smith.

In watching Summer League, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the Cavs are going to regret not drafting a keeper this year. Sir’Dominic Pointer looks like he has to spend at least a season in Canton to learn how to score enough to stay on the floor, and Rakeem “Lloyd” Christmas looks like a rookie, right-handed, Tristan Thompson with less upside. The odds of them making, let alone contributing to, this Cavs team are low. Meanwhile, guys they could have had, R.J. Hunter, Kevon Looney, Pat Connaughton, Joe Young, Aaron Harrison, are showing the abilities to contribute at positions the Cavs lack depth. I know. I know. I’m talking ’bout Summer League.

Speaking of which, There are some players who are breaking out in Vegas (and Salt Lake, and Orlando), who will definitely help their teams next year. Marcus Smart, (Cav for a second) Dwight Powell, Allen Crabbe, Rodney Hood, Aaron Gordon, Jordan Adams… But I’m especially impressed with San Antonio’s Kyle Anderson, who lives up to his Slo-Mo nickname, but always seems to make plays. Look for him to be a point-forward off of the Spurs’ bench this year. Lucas Nogueira is going to be a force for the Raptors too. He’s averaging 11.5 rebounds and 3 blocks in only 24 minutes (though his foul rate is high). T.J. Warren’s emergence for the Suns might help the Cavs move Brendan Haywood for a couple Phoenix players. Warren has been dominant, with 20 PPG on 57% shooting, and no wild threes. SUMMER LEAGUE!

There are also a few unsigned players looking really sharp that the Cavs should look to bring in. Seth Curry inexplicably can’t stick with an NBA team, despite scoring 25 PPG and shooting 49% from the floor while contributing 3.5 steals, 4.3 boards, and 2.3 assists in 33 minutes a game in Vegas for the Pelicans’ squad. He looks like a rotation NBA player stuck in Summer League. Certainly, the Cavs could have used Seth’s scoring against his brother in the finals, and his ability to recount Steph’s most embarrassing childhood moments. Glen Rice, Jr. is also tearing it up, with shooting splits of 44%/39%/83% for 21 points a game and 5 rebounds for the summer Rockets. I’m a little baffled why he can’t stick either. I know. I know. This is Summer League, where Shannon Brown looked like a demigod.

I bet you forgot that Seth had a cup of coffee in Cleveland.

One of the few Vegas bright spots for the Cavs has been Tyler Haws, who’s hit a ridiculous 6-7 three pointers in four Cavs games, and 4-9 from two. He should get some serious run in the Cavs’ final Summer League game tonight to see what he can do. Haws was the No. 2 scorer in the NCAA last year, and is 24, after spending and two years on a Mormon Mission and four years at BYU. He’s six-foot-five, is a pure half-court scorer who scores through great off-ball movement, and the ability to get to the basket because of the respect defenders must pay to his jumper, but is still decent running and cutting transition (at least according to his Draft Express page). If Haws was even two years younger, he’d probably have been a first rounder.

What in the name of Jo-Jo White are the Celtics doing? They have eight guys that can play power forward. Yes, some of them are “Centers” and some are “Small Forwards” but those guys are tweeners at best. Meanwhile, they have five guys who can play point guard, and only four real wings. I know they have eight first-rounders in the next three years, and after next year’s summer of dumb contracts, NBA rookie contracts will be gold, because teams will need cheap players who can play. The Celtics are set up for a few huge future trades, but in the meantime, how long can they play like this? I mean David Lee might not even start (again).

“I stole my beard from Vlade Divac.”

Why hasn’t anyone given Kendall Marshall a shot on a make-good deal yet? He certainly couldn’t be worse than the $16 million dollar Hobbit, J.J. Barea. Yes, Kendall’s coming off an ACL injury, but in 31 games last year, the six-foot-five Marshall shot 41%/38%/89%, and put up per 36 minute averages of 10.2 points, 7.4, and 1.8 steals with only three turnovers. The guy can be a backup point guard in the NBA, which is more than I can say for Shane Larkin and Ronnie Price, who got deals. Other notable unsigned players who could help the Cavs include John Jenkins, Dorrell Wright, Darrell Arthur, Norris Cole, Rasual Butler, and K.J. McDaniels. Oh, and Luc Mbah a Moute, who failed his physical in Sacramento (no one will say what for — maybe he sat in on a meeting with Karl, Rondo, and Boogie, and wanted out).

The Clippers might be this year’s most loathable team: CP3 (a great player, and a nice guy off the court, but a total **** on it — Just ask Lauren Holtkamp); legendary whiner and showboater, Paul Pierce; Lance Stephenson, AKA “The Ear Whisperer”; dunk machine and bully, Blake Griffin; DeAndre “commitment” Jordan; Hedo “roids” Turkoglu; Austin “nepotism” Rivers; notorious chucker, Jamal Crawford, and unwatchable-hall-of-fame player, Glen “Big Baby” Davis. They’re all coached by Doc “The Hoarse Weasel” Rivers. Oh, and don’t forget all-time-overpaid CEO, Steve “I Gave You Windows Vista” Ballmer: the most obnoxious over-enthusiastic-dork owner in pro sports history. Ugh. How did this team lose Matt Barnes and become even more detestable?

Enes Kanter, Reggie Jackson, and Omer Asik will combine to make $210 million dollars in the next five years. These deals are worse than all the bad contracts in the history of the NBA combined. (OK, I looked it up. That’s not true. I forgotten how dumb NBA owners are.) Has the NBA learned nothing from Gilbert Arenas, Eddy Curry, Brian Grant, Rashard Lewis, heyLarryHughespleasestoptakingsomanybadshots.com, Sam Dalembert, Charlie Villanueva, Stephon Marbury, etc? I feel like this is the analytics backlash. These players are demonstrably mediocre by anyone who does even a little analysis. NBA owners and GMs are just saying, “Screw it. Let’s spend money and hope they pan out. I can always buy AOL stock.” It’s really hard to listen to these billionaires whining about losses when they’re making consistently bad decisions. Next year, when they have $30 million more to play with, it’s going to get really stupid.

Speaking of Agent Zero, he had “The Gilbert Arenas Provision” named after him, and the first amnesty was called the “Alan Houston Rule.” Larry Bird’s immortal for giving the NBAPA “Bird Rights.” Who should we name the stretch-pay buyout after? Josh Smith? LARRY SANDERS? Should we just call it a “D-Willy style” cashout? I hope it doesn’t get called “The Varejao.”

Can we stop giving the ‘Dubs awards for a while? Cripes. Unless Steph Curry cures cancer, or Steve Kerr solves the Israel/Palestine problem, we should probably give it a rest (I’m looking at you, Nickelodeon).

Been hearing a lot of talk comparing the DeAndre saga to the Carlos Boozer saga. It’s not remotely applicable. The Cavs did Boozer a mitzvah and let him out of his contract early, and Booze stabbed a blind man (Gordon Gund) in the back. But he also screwed every NBA player forever, because after that no one was ever going to be let out of his contract early again. The deal was so bad that Boozer’s agent, Rob Pelinka, resigned and left his agency, SFX. (Boozer conveniently re-hired Pelinka a year later, and he represents him to this day). SFX was pissed because Rob and Carlos cost agencies millions in future monies by one selfish act. DeAndre’s deal was bad, and the Mavs had formulated their entire free agency strategy, including letting Tyson Chandler walk, around landing Jordan. Maybe DeAndre’s decision will cause teams to be more wary in the future (doubtful), but Boozer’s actions screwed a team, and an entire generation of players.

Mavs… Why the hell did they give Wes Matthews an upgrade of four years at $57 million to four years at $70 million when they lost out on DeAndre (not to mention the extra $10.3 million they gave Warwick Barea)? I guess any time you can pay an extra $13 million to a player who just suffered one of the NBA’s most debilitating injuries, you have have to do it.

On average, players returning from a ruptured Achilles saw their minutes per game average drop 27 percent from their last full season to their first following recovery. Not a single one of them averaged as many minutes as the previous season..

On the whole, these players’ usage, rebound and assists rates generally stayed constant. However, their efficiency took a hit, as the collective dropped from 45.9 percent shooting to 40.9 on average.

*Gulp* That doesn’t bode well for Andy. Meanwhile, I’ll just pencil in Matthews to join Asik, Jackson, and Kanter in the cast of the next “Bad Idea Jeans” commercial.

How much would you pay to watch a Hard Knocks version of the Sacramento Kings? I’m in for at least $40. I want to see Rondo’s face the day they trade for Ty Lawson. I can’t wait for the episode where Boogie and Rondo haze Willie Cauley-Stein, and he goes Private Pyle on them. The one where Mudiay lights the Kings up for 20 and 10, and Cousins turns into Gorgo in the locker room is going to be classic. We should call the show Viva La Vivek! I hope it doesn’t put George Karl in the hospital.

All right. We’re almost there. As free agency and the summer leagues wind down, and with little international ball this summer, that most inauspicious of NBA times is on the horizon. That’s right, we’re approaching the NBA Dog Days: the time of year where players, coaches, reporters, agents, and fans go their separate ways, enjoy the summer, get their kids ready for school, and spend time with their actual families.  We’ll all reconvene at the beginning of October, but until then, the NBA news cycle will slow. Even Woj will take a break, letting news filter to the general public in a matter of hours and days instead of seconds and minutes. And if you think it’s slow now, just wait till late August, when the drums of Football season start to rumble. Don’t worry. We’ll be here to fill the void. (Until our vacations start).