Recap: Philadelphia 141, Cleveland 94 (or, Bearing Witless)

I didn’t get a chance to watch this game last night till I was at a bar at around 9:00. With every TV but one showing the Buckeyes, and the other showing the Clemson game, I asked the manager to put on the Cavs. Then when I checked my phone, and saw they were down 45, I told him not to bother. I didn’t have time to take this one in till 24 hours later, and I forced myself to endure every painful minute. My wife asked me incredulously, “why are you watching this?” I channeled my inner Rust Cohle and told her I had to “bear witness.”

As painful as the absolute annihilation by the Sixers of this Cavs team, at least the first half progressed relatively quickly. The second half? It took longer than the Irishman. There were so many stoppages and no one cared, save for a comical flex after a dunk by Kevin Porter Jr., but hey, at least he was playing hard and having fun. Fun and effort is something this starting lineup lacks. I think they hate playing together.

The overwhelming impression from the 77-36 first half against a team missing two starters (Embiid and Josh Richarssin). There’s tanking, and then there’s playing Collin Sexton and Darius Garland together against NBA starting lineups. The pair of six-one guards make winning against a good team almost an impossibility, and the stench of their awfulness is rending this team asunder.

The secret to tanking is to lose, but at least keep your team engaged and develop players and good habits, and offer your fanbase some hope. Starting Garland and Sexton is like the Browns playing a pair of wide receivers on the offensive line. Dan Gilbert and Koby Altman are selling out their fanbase, their veterans, and damaging the growth of their young players by continuing this ridiculous experiment.

If you want to pick a guy to go to the bench, there’s arguments for either. I mean it’s completely obvious that Kevin Love loathes playing with Sexton, who cannot execute an entry pass and dribbles the ball forever. The amount of times that Kevin throws up his arms in disgust increases every game. He’s trying not to betray his frustration, but his body language gives it away.

When Sexton and Garland are in together, NO ONE moves. There’s never any secondary action. It’s a simple wing or high pick and roll, a high-low for TT and Kev, or a failed post-up. Kevin Love has given up. Half the time when he gets the ball at the elbow or wing he just throws it back to Sexton, with an “eff it” look in his eyes. Starting Sexton and Garland together is like rebooting White Men Can’t Jump with Danny DeVito and Kevin Hart.

And Sexton is a block machine… for opponents. Collin was blocked three times in the first quarter Saturday and now leads the NBA with a staggering 39 blocks against in 22 games. Sexton was abysmal in this one: a migraine inducing 3-13 from the field for 10 points and two assists. As we’ve noted, he’s so much better off the ball but never wants to pass and cut. It’s funny that one of his three buckets came when he did that and Cedi found Sexton running the baseline. Youngbullshit finished a reverse for an and-1 and comically pumped his fist as he cut the Sixers second quarter lead to (checks notes)… 32.

But as painful as Sexton is offensively, he at least has the ability to play positional defense. I mean paired with another competent guard, a decent coach could at least hide Sexton a bunch of the time. With Garland, there’s no such luck. The Sixers decided to run their half court offense around exploiting Darius Garland’s defensive cluelessness, lack of physicality, and his complete unwillingness to give a crap. And when I say “run their offense,” I mean executing the simplest of sets/motions or just letting Ben Simmons wear the Cavs like a cape.

Let’s be honest, Simmons had it going early because he got 6 points in transition early by turning the floor over when the Cavs missed long rebounds or gave it away, but after he was rolling, I saw Garland forget Simmons was left handed for about three straight minutes as he beat Darius like drum. Simmons used the Cavs 20 turnovers to finish with 34/3/7, mostly in transition or by getting to the line. In the half court, The Sixers just posted up whoever Garland was guarding, or put the kid in the pick/and roll. Remember how Kyrie stuck to screens like flypaper? I wish Darius stuck to screens. He gets hit by a repulser beam when he’s in pick and roll. Garland routinely ends up five feet behind the play guarding no one. I mean at 6-1 and given the fact that he’s completely overwhelmed physically and mentally by starting NBA size, it probably wouldn’t matter if he was guarding someone.

The most embarrassing play of the game came when the Cavs were getting blitzed in the second and Simmons was the last one down the court, bringing the ball up, and no one picked him up. Realizing, Ben rocketed to the rim, and drew a pair of free throws as a disgusted Tristan Thompson issued a shoulder check. Truth be told, that was Thompson’s D. He’d been checking Simmons most of the first half. It was a cringe-worthy moment for the whole team though.

When Sixers weren’t roasting Garland over an open fire, they were using simple ball swings to the open man or driving and hitting trailing cutters for the slam. The Cavs, were either out of position when covering for magnetic repulsion Garland, or just disinterested, and let the Sixers shoot 63% from the floor and 11-26 from three. One of those even came from Ben Simmons as Tristan Thompson halfheartedly closed out and Ben accepted the dare. The Cavs fired up a brain numbing 9-35 and Darius Garland went 3-9 from downtown.

At least he’s shooting that shot. Garland’s relative comfort in garbage time ultimately tells me that he’s the one that has to go to the bench until he can look like he knows wtf he’s doing for more than one play in a row. In the second half Garland dropped 10 of his 17, on 4-11 shooting, and was (only) -3. Comically the second second half featured five minutes for Kevin Love, and he posted one rebound and one assist with no shot attempts. As Cleveland.com’s Chris Fedor noted, Kev’s postgame comments were not encouraging when he tried to defend his poor body language.

I mean, I’m really trying to be engaged. I’m trying to be a good teammate. I don’t think any of these guys would say that I’m not a good teammate. It’s tough. I don’t know if I can answer that the right way. I don’t know. It’s like we talked about before the game. I just don’t know. It’s hard.

Kev started it out honestly when describing the Cavs’ play: “We sucked.” Kev’s just fading into Bolivia right now. As much as we love Kevin and respect his growth and his battle with mental illness, he’s still a guy that has suffered from depression, anxiety, and who forced his way out of a frankly better situation than he has now in Minnesota. The Cavs org has to change the starting lineup to cater to Love because they’re literally triggering their star with their incompetent or intentionally crap lineups. Starting Garland and Sexton is like a high school team playing two seventh graders. These two just aren’t big enough or strong enough to compete, especially when they’re sharing the floor together. And they should never ever share the floor against an NBA starting lineup.

I mean we could talk about Mike Scott’s 21 or Trey Burke’s 22, getting outrebounded 51-35, but this game was all about Cavs turnovers (20 that led to 29 points), horrible starting lineup chemistry, and complete demoralization that infected the rest of the team. I mean the Sixers are a good squad, but you can’t spot a guy who can’t shoot like Simmons a half dozen uncontested dunks and layups. Cleveland played all right in the endless second half, but the Sixers weren’t really trying. John Beilein’s postgame comments neared Ty Lue levels of denialism.

Oh I don’t know, we haven’t been at 100 percent several times. We haven’t been able to practice as people make adjustments. We’ve had just a couple days of practice. Our schedule has been relentless. Almost everybody we play is a playoff team. Teams are better than us. That’s it. They’re just better than us at this point in the season.

Coach, you don’t have to play the players you’re playing in the combinations you’re playing them… You have taller players who actually know how to play basketball! I don’t know. Maybe he does have to play them, maybe it’s Koby Gilbert’s call. Starting Sexton and Garland together is like rolling up on Kings Landing with a legion of Unsullied, a squad of Dulthraki death riders, and a pair of Tabby cats.

The Cavs’ organization is wasting all the goodwill of the championship years and the opening of a renovated arena by playing lineups that are so bad, they’re making a mockery of the NBA (and people wonder why ratings are down). If I’m the Cavs, I’m moving Kevin Porter Jr. into the starting lineup and moving Cedi to point guard (no, not Collin). It would give the Cavs more athleticism and size at the two and three, and relegate Garland to the bench where he can figure things out defensively. KPJ is also the best passer of the Cavs youngsters even if he is turnover prone (7/4/4 with five turnovers in 18 minutes). When Windler comes back he can pick up KPJ’s minutes off the bench. Cedi would at least get Love the damned Ball.

I guess they could start Clarkson over Garland, but the bench would be truly neutered. Still, I’d like to see Clarkson’s playing time go up. If the Cavs are going to move guys, they have to start featuring them. Show Darius or Sexton some tough love, send one to the bench, and get some more size in the starting lineup. Until they do, the Cavs are the worst team in the NBA by a wide margin.

Right now, the Garland pick is looking like a total whiff. I can’t see anything he does well. He’s a defensive disaster, he shoots too many floaters, doesn’t appear to have any athleticism, and he’s an average three point shooter which appears to be his only skill. Sexton has talent but needs to actually be coached and sent to the bench when charges “Leeroy Jenkins!” style into three defenders. Letting Sexland drive this team off a cliff isn’t doing them or anyone else any favors. Meanwhile Tyler Herro (27 points), Matisse Thybull (20), PJ Washington (20), Miles Bridges (20), and Shai (21) all had big nights. How in God’s name did Koby Altman get a contract extension? This Org. is completely witless.

Starting Garland and Sexton together is like getting a Nintendo for Christmas and only getting crappy games like Squareboy to play on it. We’ll see whether the Cavs keep banging their head into a wall Tuesday or if they finally change the starting lineup when they take on the Celtics Monday night. Until then, go Cavs.