Recap: Boston 141, Cleveland 103 (or, Egg Salad Sandwich +LT)

This was a bad combination. The Cavs, as many noted in the live thread, had been smelling themselves a bit too much after a great two game sweep of the Nets, and were also in a sandwich game scenario with the Lakers coming up Monday night. Well, the Wine and Gold Starters came out and laid a big stinky rotten egg against the Celtics (and I’m being kind when I call it an egg). It was almost like this quote from the beginning of 40 Year Old Virgin that causes Seth Rogan’s character to pantomime blowing his brains out. The Cavs did all the prep and got hyped for the game, and by the time they got there, they just didn’t feel like playing.

Friday, I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and I was like, ‘Man, I’m gonna make one of those.’ So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And then, by the time I was done, I didn’t really feel like like eating it.

Watching this game felt like listening to the most boring man in the world tell a story. The Cavs were so lackadaisical out of the gate that JB Bickerstaff took his second timeout at the nine minute mark of the first, and subbed out the entire starting lineup with the Cavs down 11-2. It helped a little, but ostensible starter Darius Garland was coming off the bench for this one due to a “minutes restriction,” and after a Dotson triple cut the Celts’ lead to five, Darius started giving the ball to the C’s, wandering around aimlessly, and building a brick house. Garland stunk like rotten egg salad, and was only outstunk by Collin Sexton who stunk like cabbage rolls from Christmas. A prominent member of Cavs twitter noted that Youngbull looked hung over. He certainly played like it.

A 73-51 first half featured Cleveland giving up two goals while on the power play: a three Celtics versus four Cavs fast break, and a four-on-five possession where Kemba Walker was holding his head in pain on the other end of the floor were emblematic of the Cavs’ effort. Other evidence for the game as a whole: the 55-34 difference in rebounding, the 55%-40% FG% difference, and the 40%-30% 3PT% differential. This one was brutal. Layups and open threes galore for Boston.

The Cavs’ starters were all garbage. Only Andre Drummond played hard in the first half, and he didn’t play smart. At least he got on the O-Boards to finish the first half with 11, but his daffy paint forays led to more than one turnover. Collin Sexton though, was awful. At one point he was switched on Jaylen Brown and then just stopped guarding the ball and ran over to his old man leaving Brown wide open to shoot a three. His off-ball D was worse. He routinely refused to rotate to an open man, or when he did, just stood there. On offense he went 1-6 with four turnovers. He definitely expected Boston to play as uninspired defense as the Nets. Sexton was suspiciously bad.

Isaac Okoro caught the rookie blues, as the Celtics had clearly scouted him and back door cut on him repeatedly for buckets. After hyping Harry Nance Jr. as a DPOY candidate before the game, I was beyond disappointed in his passivity and lousy defensive rotations. He finished with two points and a rebound in nine first half minutes. Junior also hurt his wrist and is missing tonight’s contest due to the injury. Cedi was a part of the general defensive egg-laying as well, and Garland took just two shots in 11 minutes in the first half. Even Boston fans were probably disappointed it wasn’t a better game. “I kind of felt bad for the horse.”

In the Second half, Larry played three minutes before exiting, while Cedi and Drummond managed to go -19 in seven minutes while putting up four turnovers. With Boston up around 40, JB kicked the starters out of the game, busted up Collin Sexton’s 20-point scoring streak, and rode the subs for the rest of the game. The lone exception to that being Okoro getting some ball-handling work in the fourth quarter.

Prince, Allen, McGee, Dotson, and Windler played hard. Prince somehow ended up +2 in a 38 point loss, while McGee offered the lone highlight for the Cavs going coast to coast. All five guys ended up with at least night points, and at least looked like they didn’t get hammered Saturday night.

POINT GOD JaVale McGee pic.twitter.com/O8nS5zloM9

— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) January 25, 2021

Dean Wade continued to be the invisible man in seven minutes, getting only two rebounds. Okoro played point late, but it wasn’t enough to save him from a brain melting team low -39 while going 1-6 with three turnovers. They didn’t seem to be sins of effort, as he was trying, but he got stuck on the stinky starter lineups and the stinky late game zoo crew squad. It was nice to see him get some ball handling run. Hopefully it builds is confidence  Garland stunk it up too: 1-9 from the field, but five assists to two turnovers. And I hold JB a little accountable too, as the Cavs’ schemes of drop p/r coverage were eviscerated by the hot shooting Celtics guards, and JB never went zone. But given the effort, I can’t blame him for just throwing his hands up.

If you told me a week ago the Cavs would be 2-2 after a four game stretch after doubling up on the nets Nets plus Celtics and Lakers, I’d be thrilled, but no one wanted to sniff last night’s rotten egg salad sandwich. Hopefully the Cavs go back to their hard-working ways tonight, because otherwise we’ve got real evidence that the Cavs’ culture problems didn’t end with KPJ’s departure.

As we mentioned earlier, Larry’s out tonight, joining Delly and Kevin Love in the injured list. I’d like to see JB reward Prince’s effort with a start instead of a two-center lineup with Drummond and Allen, but I probably won’t. Let’s hope Bickerstaff burns this trash, and that tonight’s effort smells better.